9.29.2013

Me? Skinny?

So it's been a while since I've blogged and I can't come up with anything good.  Everyone is about the same.  Ty's little in-home evaluation is Tuesday and we are eager to get therapy started.  I've lost another pound and 3 inches.  Jeff is making progress on his quest to build muscle.  Our Isagenix Team Hemingson is expanding which is fun to watch others start to achieve their goals too!

So today I was looking at myself in the mirror and it hit me.  I still see fat Jeni.  You hear it all the time.  "I know I've lot weight, but I still see the heavier me when I look in the mirror."  In the past I would yell at the TV, "what's wrong with you, you look great, you worked hard, you should be proud of yourself, etc."  I totally get what they are saying.  While I am very proud of my accomplishments, I still can't get over the image looking back at me.  That's not MY body.  It's like someone photoshopped my face and put it on a smaller body.

Why does this happen?  Are we afraid of success?  Perhaps afraid of success so that we might need to maintain it?  Maybe that's why some people can't get started in the first place.  If I don't really try then I don't have to fail.....maybe?  What DOES happen when we succeed?  How do we know when we get there?

Well here's what I did this morning.  I kept looking at myself.  All angles.  Until I could confirm in my brain that it's me.  I even told Jeff "I'm a smokin' hot momma.  I look good, I like it."  Am I perfect?  Heck no.  But I like it.  Maybe the more I see it and the more I say it, the faster my brain will catch up with my body.

Am I afraid of success?  Maybe.  I've never been this healthy before...now what?  I'm 38 and in the best shape ever.   It's all new to me.  I've never been "athletic."  Now I run and lift weights.....and I like it.  What's up with me?  I'll tell you.  I feel good and I can't stop myself.

Maintain it?  I still have some fat to release and some muscles to tone.  So that's where I'm going.  I'm releasing more fat and toning more muscles.  It's a game plan.  It means working smarter.  I don't have more hours to exercise, so I need to continue to maximize the time I have.  Heavier weights, run faster, push myself harder.  It's a bitter sweet moment when I'm at BodyPump class and I realize I need to add weights.  Yay I'm stronger....shoot that means the bar will be heavier.  I was getting comfortable and now I need to get uncomfortable again.

How do I know when I've reached "success"?  I guess I will just know!

Any other "smokin' hot mommas" on the inside screaming to get out?  Contact me asap!  I love watching the transformations!

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